Technology Bitch: A Day In The Life of a Desktop
Such a beautiful day.
The sun is shining and all is well…. for the moment at least!
You see, soon that GIRL is going to come in, and disrupt my peace and quiet.
She does that a lot! And no matter what shenanigans I try, she keeps coming back! I
guess she just canʼt help herself – Iʼm such a temptress.
So what stunt shall I pull today? I could shut down… No thatʼs not any fun.
I could adjust my speed (I can really use a break). If I speed up, maybe sheʼll ﬁnish faster so I can have the rest of the day off!
On the other hand if I drag my butt, maybe sheʼll get exasperated and quit even earlier.
Such a gamble! What to choose, what to choose…
Oh, there she comes. What should I do?! Oh, the pressure. Gosh, Iʼm so indecisive today!
Wait, she just left the room; probably forgot something. Good, that gives me a
chance to think some more. Letʼs see… I could encrypt some ﬁles, or crash. Hum,
creating a glitch is an interesting idea…
Darn it! Sheʼs back. And I have yet to make my decision! Maybe I should
be worried; clearly Iʼm not well. I have memory fog. I need some energy! Is there
something wrong with the outlet?! Did that rabbit gnaw on my cord?!
Someone help me! I need my buzz!
Phew… everythingʼs okay. My eyes are opening! Sheʼs tapping on my ﬁngers
and theyʼre moving! Ah – that feels good; nothing like morning exercise! Donʼt want
arthritis to develop. Iʼm too young for that anyways.
Oh, I see lots of things in front of me. How interesting! What is she working on
today? Hum, I like that clip better, why didnʼt you take that one? Canʼt I have a say?!
The next time you choose something I donʼt like, Iʼll be sure to let you know. You canʼt
overstep me; you canʼt!
Oooh…thatʼs cool. Like what you did there. Iʼll let you keep going. Nice job girl!
Excellent! Youʼre brilliant!
Oh, oh, Iʼm getting a rush. So much data, so much saving; my head hurts.
What are you doing now? Waiting, waiting… Hum, something’s wrong. Why isnʼt
that memory card working? Is there something wrong with me?
No, Iʼm good. No alzheimerʼs yet. So what the f— is happening? Hey, Iʼm in
charge here. No one is supposed to mess up this girl but me! Hey, whatʼs happening?
This isnʼt right!
Call in the infantry! This is war. No-one steps on my turf. No-one messes with
my girl, but me!
Hey, who are you calling? Donʼt walk away from me. Come back! God I hate
those wireless contraptions.
Concentrate. Wait…what is she saying? Shh! Shut that damn TV off!
Concentrate. Concentrate. Okay….okay….okay. Someone, we need a doctor in here!
Can anyone hear me! Oh, well not you…though you are a geriatrician. Think we may
need a surgeon here.
Goodness, this has turned out to be a really rough day. Iʼm so emotional! I think
I need a break. Where is that rabbit? Come eat my cord…
Well this day certainly didnʼt go as planned. Then again, I never did formulate my
plan. Somehow I got swept up in things. Darn technology! Then again, there is